The 2009 Oscars

I’m going to revert to note form, since there will be absolutely no way to organize this neatly. It’s gonna be all as it hits me, kids.

So I thought the show started at 8pm, but actually the red carpet stuff will be on for this half hour. Grr.

-I’m glad to see Tim Gunn is out there braving the red carpet though. He forced Brangelina (ugh) to stop, so he could gush about them for a minute, and it was hilarious. Gotta love the very rigid, well-dressed Gunn acting like a star-struck schoolgirl.

-I’m a total sucker for awards show fashion, but I think, if I have the energy, I’ll do a recap of my favorites after it’s all over.

-It’s lovely that the kids (the really wee ones) from Slumdog Millionaire are at the Oscars and everything, but I’m worried about them. I hope people are taking care of them, and making sure that their transition into all of the la-la-land lunacy is somewhat smooth. 

-I dig Zac Efron’s hair. Maybe it’s his eyes or bottle-swarthiness (he must fake-bake or something) but he reminds me of John Stamos.

-Viola Davis! If she doesn’t win tonight, I will be personally offended. She was amazing in Doubt. Not only that, but she has wicked style and grace. 

-Why on earth is Miley Cyrus there? Just stop already! Stop!

-Meryl Streep is so wonderful. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t touch Mama Mia with a ten foot pole (though my mother tried really hard to get me to see it), but she was spectacular in Doubt, and I even remember loving her performance in She-Devil, when I was little. And I am SO excited to see her in the upcoming Julie and Julia, about famous chef Julia Child (but I can’t believe I have to wait until August)! Other actresses need to take note.

-Wow that little interview with Jack Black made the interviewer look like an ass.

-I’m sorry but I can’t get on board with Marisa Tomei’s nomination for portraying a stripper. Anyone can take off their clothes. (Not that I’ve seen The Wrestler… I have no desire to.)

-I’m impressed that airtime is being given to the people behind the design of the stage tonight and the musicians behind the score!

Finally the 81st annual Academy Awards is starting.

-Okay this opening ‘number’ isn’t doing much for me, but the DIY aspect is kind of cool, and when Jackman put his head above the baby doll body, I did laugh. With the use of so many cardboard cut-outs, it just makes me wish they could have involved Michel Gondry. He would have killed it.

-Who got Whoopi Goldberg in a dress? Bizarre.

-I like Tilda Swinton, JUST because she seems to play by her own rules; I have yet to become familiar with her work.

-Angelica Huston will always be cool in my book too. Love that purple gown tonight.

-Goldie Hawn. What is she like 70 now? I don’t care if you used to wear a skimpy bikini on Laugh-In, that was decades ago. Have a little dignity, get a dress that covers the girls.

-Well Viola Davis was just robbed. ROBBED! I don’t get the fuss with Penelope Cruz. 

-Tina Fey looks amazing! She inspires me on so many levels.

-Since Mike Leigh’s Happy-Go-Lucky is nominated for Best Screenplay, I have to mention how much I loved that movie. It risked annoyance, with the abnormally cheerful and kooky character of Poppy (thankfully not a manic pixie ), but somehow it rose above. It really did have me leaving the theatre in Glasgow (alone one afternoon) with a new pep in my step (short-lived as it might have been). 

-Dustin Lance Black, writer of Milk, really gave a nice speech. I liked how he spoke directly to the youth.

-Jennifer Aniston just stumbled over her words a bit, I hope she’s not nervous with stupid Brad and Ang there. Angelina is just so smug it’s disgusting – laughing on cue when Jenn just made a funny (good on the cameraperson for catching it though). What a bitch!

-I don’t know much about the dude that just took an Oscar for Wall-E, but I love it when the non-celeb types get their chance to speak their minds, and say intelligent things that make you stop and pay attention. It’s a welcome variation to the typical acceptance crap. Plus I liked the guys black velvet blazer. Daring.

-It’s kind of sad to me when a winner can barely speak enough English to express their gratitude. If only I could land a job preparing such people for speeches. Or maybe the bigwigs can just let the people speak their native tongue and use sub-titles. It is 2009, people. 

-The tiny TV I’m watching the awards on tonight is not helping me see clear details of gowns, but from what I see, Sarah Jessica Parker’s choice is stunning. (And is it just me, or did things seem icy with her and Broderick on the red carpet?)

-Blah Blah Blah Mr. English accent (over it!) accepting an award for the clothes of The Duchess. Move it along!

-Ben Stiller, goofing on Joaquin Phoenix? Genius. I saw him on the street in NYC once too. He probably heard me squeal and hence quickened his pace. It was on Lafayette Street, right near Joe’s Pub, I believe, and he was headed in the opposite direction on the other side of the street, but still he seemed fearful of my friend and I. It’s no wonder they paired Stiller with Natalie Portman (ugh, manic pixie!), to present. She should be accustomed to weird bearded guys, after her stint as Devendra Banheart’s ‘love interest’.

-I wonder how much weight Seth Rogen has lost. Why not talk about it since every woman in showbiz is torn apart? Men are definitely feeling the pressure too;  it’s pretty obvious, and disturbing. I mean it’s disturbing when anyone is cornered by ridiculous ideals of beauty, but weird when men are suddenly so self-conscious too. I’m sure at least the weight loss has been a positive and healthy change for Rogen. His laugh is cute.

-I know this isn’t Oscar related, but there is a diet coke commercial on right now with “Be Gentle with Me” by The Boy Least likely To playing in it. Erg. Buy their music (LOVE them). Don’t buy Coke. Don’t be a marionette.

-In fact, I’m watching the above linked video right now instead of this ridiculous Beyonce performance. Why must she taint everything? It’s the Oscars, not the Grammys. What is this? Cross promotion for the upcoming Tonies?

-Why are the commercials more captivating for me? There was just a spot for an upcoming Sandra Bullock flick – The Proposal – that actually looks funny. She seems like a pretty smart gal and I have faith that she wouldn’t be involved in a stinker. Anyways, Rose Nylund, aka Betty White is in it, so I’m gonna have to see it.

-Why is Philip Seymour Hoffman wearing that fakakta hat? Would it kill him to groom? (Yes I just wrote that; no an old world Grandma did not hijack my mac.)

-Cuba Gooding Jr. took a playful approach to acknowledging Robert Downey Jr.’s role as a white guy portraying a black guy, and even said something about staying out of the “purse” of the black actors. Well done. I mean he was playful about it, rather than making it ugly, as I would have been tempted to do, but at least he made mention.

-Of course Ledger won. Interesting how Michelle Williams is m.i.a. I can’t imagine what his family feels standing at that podium. (I love when they show the faces of other actors in the crowd during such speeches… Rourke, Adrien Brody, Ben Kingsley, Hathaway, phoney brangelina…)

-The dude with what I think was a french accent, who made a coin disappear, and then balanced the Oscar on his chin, was kind of funny. 

-I’m getting bored… multi-tasking until big awards…

-Alicia Keyes looks amazing – love the color of that gown.

-Even though I’m sure it will develop as a mere ‘trend’ in the Western world, thanks to Slumdog, I really dig Bollywood. They make dancing look so easy, and actually fun.

-Okay, now I’ve had it with these damn JCPenney commericals. MYSTERY JETS “Two Doors Down“, my jam of last January (seriously helped me through some crappy times), in a friggin cheap ol’ JC Penney commersh. WHEN WILL IT STOP!? (At least it wasn’t a Coke ad?)

-I can totally get on board with Queen Latifah singing an old standard. Maybe I’m a sap, but it’s making me miss my man.

-During the montage of those who have passed this year, the Paul Newman bit at the end caught my attention, for the clip from “Sweet Bird of Youth” (1962), in which Newman, as Chance Wayne says,

“The big difference between people is not between the rich and the poor, the good and the evil. The biggest of all differences between people is between those who have had pleasure in love and those who haven’t.”

How beautiful is that? (No, I couldn’t remember it right away, and am not familiar with the film, I googled it!)

-I’ve been ruminating on this somewhat odd approach of having past Oscar winners address the current nominees, and I think I like it. So far it’s been for Best Supporting Actress, and now Best Actress, so what about for the fellas? Anyways it’s one of their better time-fillers.

-Sophia Loren scares me.

-PHEW. Jolie did not win. I was rooting for Meryl, but at least Kate is taking it home. She’s real, and classy. And she doesn’t deserve all of the flack she’s been getting from her own damn country. (What is with the English?!) How sweet was it when she called out for her father and he whistled, and then hid under his black hat when the camera found him!

-Okay, same set up for Best Actor… too bad Daniel Day Lewis isn’t there.

-Wow, DeNiro with white hair! He probably just stopped dying it, but it works!

-Finding myself rooting for underdog (and “returning champ”) Rourke…

So much for that. Haven’t seen Milk yet though, but want to. Penn seems cool though. A long way from Spicoli! He always remind me of Eddie Vedder. Weird.

Quite glad Slumdog is taking Best Picture. Really, really need to go see it soon.

Over and out! Beddy-bye!

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